Friday, April 8, 2011

This is why meth is bad for you. Also, I should get a new car.

Last night Dear Hubby went to go get a "new" car (it's only 21 years old!), and came back muttering, "Okay, THAT didn't get it out." So of course, I suspiciously asked, "Get what out? What did you do to my car?" And he simply said "Come outside and look, you're never gonna believe this!" There was a huge dent in my hood.

He had taken my car and his dad rode with him. On the way there, before they were even 15 miles from our house, Hubby noticed a car parked at the side of the road and slowed way down. There were a couple of people in it, and a couple of people outside the car. One of the people outside happened to be standing in the middle of the road, throwing his shoes up in the air. Occasionally he would just fall down into the road, and after a while he just crawled over to the side of the road into the mud-filled ditch (We've had an extremely rainy March and April). Hubby had plenty of time to notice all of this, because he was basically just inching along the road hoping to pass the crazies with no incident. Too bad.

As soon as Hubby got close, Crazy Dude who is now covered in mud came running from the side of the road, leaped up onto the hood of the car, crouched down, banged his head against the windshield as hard as he could--TWICE--then rolled off the other side of the car. Remember, Hubby is driving maybe 2 miles an hour. So they pulled over and called the police, and watched the insanity from the relative safety of the car while they waited. Eventually the cops got there, and apparently found all this hilarious. The only damage that was really done, surprisingly, is a sizable dent in the hood of my car. We're really lucky he didn't break the windshield. They took statemnets from Hubby and Father-In-Law and they talked to the obviously messed up on something guy the best they could, but he would randomly start jumping around and screaming at them. So they had a little trouble getting handcuffs on him, but finally did and got him into the back of the police car. Hubby said that the last things they heard before they got back into the car to leave was the cop yelling in his car "You sonofabitch! You puked in my squad car!!" And the Crazy Dude replied, "I'm sober now!"

Of course, this is not the first incident with that car... A couple Thanksgivings ago on our way back from my mom's we hit a deer. Or rather, the deer hit us. Of course, I'm pretty sure Hubby only phrases it this way since HE was driving. Afterwards he put some of those deer whistler things on the car, which supposedly deter deer. I don't buy it, but if it gives him a little peace of mind then whatever. Apparently it doesn't work for crazy-drunk/high people.

Anyhoo, some links for you to enjoy:

So cute!
"No longer do you have to dribble bacon down your chin to get a hint of pig on your throat!"
A story that's taken the country by storm
Time to incorporate your uterus! (I totally love this.)
Truly amazing work being done here.

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