Saturday, March 5, 2011

Recent Thoughts

. . .It's totally not fair how when you're unable to get to sleep all you can think about is how much you need to get to sleep, which leads to higher stress levels and adds to your insomnia.

. . .If I had a pink Vespa, I would name it Princess. Then I would have a Princess Vespa, and people might think twice about wanting to run over it when I would inevitably park it in a parking space for a car when there are clearly-marked spaces provided for motorcycle parking in the damn work parking lot. After all, it's only common courtesy to park in the appropriate space for your mode of transportation, especially when parking your pink Vespa in a car space means someone else has to park way far away from the factory. But "Princess" Vespa might be too much for a would-be Vespa-destroyer to run over, since it may have the power of the Schwartz with it, or at least a fella with a large man-dog ready to defend it's honor at any time.

. . .I really want a pink Vespa now, and I don't even have a deep and abiding love for the color pink.

. . .Lollipops and Popsicles are similar in many ways, and it is not funny for the "Lollipop Guild" song from The Wizard of Oz to pop into your head when you are packing Popsicles into boxes. In fact, it may cause you to yell "FUCK!!" really loudly when you are packing said Popsicles into boxes.

. . .If Hubs went to work at a factory making sweets of whatever sort, could I refer to him as a sugar daddy even if it's totally not regarding finances?

. . .Having Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" stuck in your head (or actually hearing it playing if you're lucky...) can always improve your day, or at least the moment.

. . .I love tattooed men...

. . ."I swear I am not here with the sole intention of ruining your goddamn day!!"

. . .On the celebrity-related front:  Wow, Tom Cruise really did ruin use of the word "glib," but it's a pretty funny-sounding word anyway. Also, WTF Charlie Sheen?!

. . .I also thought about situations where "LBVS" (laughing but very serious) would be appropriate. "My sister's daughter was placed in protective custody after she choked on a button that popped off of the male stripper's costume at her 6th birthday party... LBVS." "I think that homeless woman gave me herpes... LBVS." "My 92-year-old grandmother was just killed in a skydiving accident... LBVS." "I thought this was tuna. The can says Chicken of the Sea... so is it chicken? LBVS."

. . .People should not change their names on social networking sites for any reason other than it being legally changed in the real world, too. I almost deleted someone because I thought some random person I didn't know had somehow managed to become a Facebook friend. Also, it's hard to look at profile pics on your phone when you're trying to determine who the hell this strange person is. Let's just say this person went from the initials "L.H." to "J.S." on the profile. No reason, no comment about why.

. . .My panda hat is now named Mortimer. Mortimer the Panda. And he, like "Bohemian Rhapsody," can always improve my mood. That, and saying "That's what she said." Or "So's your face."


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