The Painted Toenail Apocalypse

I recently came across the story (stories, really) about the reaction to the J. Crew article featuring pictures of designer Jenna Lyons painting her 5-year-old son's toenails pink. Who knew that wielding a tiny paint brush could cause so much of an uproar? Apparently she should have known that painting her son's toenails hot pink will lead not only to his gender confusion and definitely "choosing" to become gay, but will also lead to *nobody* wanting to have and nurture children or join the military.

Because that's the *obvious* result of such careless action.  At least it is according to Dr. Keith Ablow's opinion piece (on none other than the Fox News website, of course!). Some of my favorite quotes, accompanied by my own personal commentary:

This is a dramatic example of the way that our culture is being encouraged to abandon all trappings of gender identity—homogenizing males and females when the outcome of such “psychological sterilization” [my word choice] is not known.

(Believing that spending time with her son by painting his toenails pink--she says it's his favorite color--is a dramatic example of anything other than spending time with her son is frankly astonishing to me. I guess if he wants to watch Dora the Explorer, she's brainwashing him to support illegal aliens through learning how to say "door" in Spanish?)

Well, how about the fact that encouraging the choosing of gender identity, rather than suggesting our children become comfortable with the ones that they got at birth, can throw our species into real psychological turmoil . . . Why not make race the next frontier? What would be so wrong with people deciding to tattoo themselves dark brown and claim African-American heritage? Why not bleach the skin of others so they can playact as Caucasians?

(Now I'm not saying he's a "well-known" psychologist, but the fact that he believes we can freely *choose* our gender identity is irresponsible in his profession, to say the least, let alone forcing them to just "become comfortable with" the one they got at birth. Sorry sir, even I know that biological sex and gender identity are two totally different things! They teach you that stuff in even *introductory* psych classes. Also, anyone else sick of the dramatic snowball crap that these assholes use when it comes to this topic? Gay marriage leads to marrying animals, polygamy, etc., now hot pink toenails on 5-year-olds leads to light-skinned folks in "black face" and darker-skinned folks "playacting" as Caucasian. Right. Sound logical argument there!)

And while that may seem like no big deal, it will be a very big deal if it turns out that neither gender is very comfortable anymore nurturing children above all else, and neither gender is motivated to rank creating a family above having great sex forever and neither gender is motivated to protect the nation by marching into combat against other men and risking their lives.

(Wow.  Selfish current and upcoming generations, with their whole "GTL" fascination. Apparently it's not just a few individuals, it's everybody. And it's no joke. But that's not my real point here. Since when has there been problems with people who don't feel  like they were born in the right body NOT wanting to have children and start families, just like everyone else? I thought the Neanderthalic (is that a word? Nope, not according to spellcheck) assholes (that one is for SURE) were all pissy about LGBT couples/individuals WANTING to have children and be able to join the military? So... is that off now? Have we changed our mind about that? In any case, I'm sure it would definitely be a big deal if nobody ever in the whole world ever wanted to do either of those things ever. But logically? Yeah, that's not gonna happen. Unfortunately, assholes like you will continue to procreate smugly in the knowledge that none of your children will ever question anything if you have anything to say about it.)  

Jenna Lyons and J. Crew seem to know exactly what they’re up to. That’s why the photograph of Jenna’s son so prominently displays his hot pink, neon toe nails. These folks are hostile to the gender distinctions that actually are part of the magnificent synergy that creates and sustains the human race.   

(Yes. Spending time with her beautiful 5-year-old son doing whatever activity he wanted is clearly a hostile action. It was a massive liberal conspiracy, which frankly I'm surprised conservatives on your so-fair-and-balanced network didn't make up in order to point out such massive liberal conspiracies. I'm sure Glenn Beck has some pictures of some crowds that attended the nail-painting event.)

One of the saddest parts of this whole thing for me is that I actually liked Keith Ablow as an author of psychological thriller/suspense novels. I'm really sad to see that now... Well, you know.