Mean Woman Week.

I
May
At anytime
Burst
Into
Tears,
Crying
Hysterically  Heroically

This poem has been brought to you by a woman who *clearly* has ovaries and hormones that are by all appearances in working goddamn order.

Hubby long ago dubbed this particular week that occurs all too often (I am cursed with long periods AND a short cycle) "Mean Woman Week," mostly because he doesn't get booty and because the cramps that accompany this "condition" could make anyone feel homicidal. However, I really truly deeply believe that it would be better labeled as "Sobbing Woman Week" or (kindly put) "Digestion Issues Week" or "OH MY GOD GET THOSE SCISSORS OUT OF HER HANDS BEFORE SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHING REGRETTABLE Week". Or "Now is not the time to bring up her unhealthy love of pizza products. Duly noted... Week."

This has been an excruciatingly fun episode of Mean Woman Week (MWW from now on, because why not?), due to some terribly ill-timed events. I generally start getting a little...*ahem*...emotional during the few days before MWW, and that's usually my best warning that SURPRISE! It's that time again! Better stock up on the lady products! This particular time, I was beginning to think it was a flare-up of the depression (does "flare-up" fit there? It seems a little counterintuitive...) since I've been neglecting to take my antidepressant... for 2 months.  What finally tipped me off was not the constant need to sleep, since that's typical of my brand of depression, or the moodiness, for the same reason, but when I noticed that my reactions to things were a little, well, exaggerated. Please read this story, and try not to focus on the unfortunate name of the deputy. I was not even aware of her name until I found it myself...

Now, I know that's a horribly sad, horribly horrible event, despite the writer's attempts to lighten it up a little. Normally I would be outraged and sad, of course, but when Hubby chose the worse possible time in the world to educate me about this article by reading it OUT LOUD IN DETAIL (!!!) my reaction was to immediately burst into tears, crying inconsolably. And that is no exaggeration, either. It was no quiet little sniffle with a couple tears trailing down my face, it was full-blown hysterical sobbing, paired with wails of "Why did that have to happen?? That was so MEAN!! He was just trying to be a good bup [this is how we refer to dogs, they're bups, not pups. No idea why.]!! He went back to his kennel!! He knew he was in trouble, he tried to make it better! I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!" And they were indeed wails, punctuated by sobs so intense they led to snorts and coughs which embarrassed and frustrated  me further, leading to more sobbing. The whole time I *knew* it was a tremendous overreaction, but could not stop it. I have no idea what possessed the Hubs that he felt it was necessary to share that little tale of woe and murder with me, especially when we were just sitting down, watching TV, with the typical chit-chat here and there. I bet he regrets his decision and never makes THAT mistake again. The worst thing is, that's not the only thing this week to turn me into a blubbering, wailing mess.  But that IS the only one in particular I will subject you to, because everything else after that has just been a repeat of the same, just with different topics.

I hope everyone else has had a better week! And if anything untoward has happened to you this week, PLEASE GOD DON'T TELL ME UNTIL NEXT WEEK. I apparently can't handle that shit right now.