Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The first title I had for this sounded a little too disturbing.

I don't feel like I'm asking much. This post is not an advertisement, this is not a ploy for attention from people or companies in order to get posts sponsored. In all honesty this is probably not even interesting to anyone except for me. So what is this post? It is a desperate, if silly plea.

Please, for the love of all that is marvelous, will all the razor blade companies simplify their products? All I need a razor to do is provide a close shave on my legs, armpits, and if I'm feeling reckless my ladybits as well. (Don't judge, you know we all trim the cooter fuzz from time to time.) I don't need a razor to moisturize, exfoliate, provide Secret Service levels of protection against my carefree hacking at rogue leg hairs, swivel like an awesome office chair, or buy groceries. I mean, if it wanted to buy my groceries that'd be fantastic, but in all seriousness it seems like it's doing more damage to my budget than it is trying to help by chipping in on some pizza rolls.

Razor blades are expensive, folks, but the expensive "good" razors seem to be more frivolous than effective these days. Let's talk about roles for a second. The role of a razor? Temporary hair removal. The role of shaving cream? To provide lubrication between your skin and the blade and decreasing the risk of razor burn and cuts, to raise and soften the hairs, and to soften your skin. The role of lotion? To moisturize your skin. Personally, I do not need all three products in one. Trust me, I have tried.

It started with my mom's disposable razors when I first started shaving. Of course my first act of shaving was testing the sharpness of the blades by running my thumb across them. As it turns out, those suckers are sharp as fuck. I did fairly well after that, with Mom's shaving gel (a men's shaving gel, at that) keeping my gams safe from razor burn and my general clumsiness. Then I rebelled, deciding I needed to establish my own razor identity.

Being a goddess, I decided to buy a Venus. The original one, with three blades, that introduced me to the pivoty head that "hugs your curves" and all that jazz. I loved it simply and deeply, for a long time. Then someone bought me a wonderful gift baskety thing for Christmas one year, which included some yummy-smelling lotions and body wash and a different razor. I tried it, I liked it. I decided it was time to expand my horizons, razor-wise. But then the prices of the refills skyrocketed. I refused to continue paying $10 for 4 refills, even for my beloved Venus. Especially when they didn't seem worth it anymore. The "moisture strips" everyone added seemed to make my skin feel greasy, and they were always peeling or clumping off... Often onto the blades, causing a higher risk of cuts. Another issue with the moisture strips and the extra crap blades are sporting these days is that they seem to put too much distance between the blades and the skin. Granted, you don't want to be shaving off layers of epidermis, but at the same time the blade has to get close enough to provide a stubble-free shave. You shouldn't have to push down on the razor and still have to go over a spot repeatedly in order for your skin to finally feel smooth. And in all seriousness, there's only so many safety features they can add to razors before people finally start to realize that companies think women are idiots and they should probably be selling helmets and foam suits to prevent us from hurting ourselves. But let's face it, ladies, if you're cutting yourself shaving all the damn time I think it's time to stop blaming the razor.

These are the issues I've been facing. Paired with the ridiculous prices of refill cartridges, I decided to try one of the cheapest refill-kinds my local Walmart carried. It was great, at first. The refill packs were much cheaper by comparison, but the "moisture strips" annoyed me and I was having to replace the blades a lot faster. As in constantly. Otherwise, I'd notice that the blade was markedly duller after a use or two. And after just three or four days of exposure to the shower, RUST would start to form around the edges of the blades near the casing! That's kinda scary. I gave them a good run, because of the cheapness factor, thinking maybe I just had a bad box (the original stick only came with one extra cartridge). Nope. They all sucked.

I tried something else, briefly (don't even remember what it was now, I had it for such a short time). But again, when I just can't get a close shave, it's time to move on. I bought some disposables, two simple blades, no "moisturizing strip", and I love them. I'm still going to experiment some, as I am ever the sleuth and have zero brand loyalty when it comes to bath and beauty products. Seriously, zero commitment to a single brand, scent, style, etc. I don't even go to the same person every time I get a haircut. Buying deodorant, body wash, shampoo/conditioner, razors, facial cleansers/makeup remover, mascara... it's a real nail-biting experience for me, and The Hubby usually has to shop elsewhere while I consider my options. I really hate to waste product, am extremely picky (if you couldn't tell), and am constantly searching for something that works better for me. Plus I'm extremely cheap. I think I've finally settled on Dove for my shampoo and conditioner, but that's about as far as I've gotten.

In any case I am happy with the disposable razors I am currently using, but once that pack runs out the game is on again. I'd say I'll keep you all posted, but at the rate I'm going I'll forget about it long before I post again.   

Oh, and the initial title I had for this post? "Why consider politics when you can consider razor blades?"

1 comment :

  1. Oh how marvelous you are at reading my mind ...  :)